traditional feasts of the season are
harbingers of a threat seldom realized:
dirty dishes. Is there was some way to
"take care of" this inconvenience that
detracts from our annual festivities?
While some of you watch Yule logs
burn, I’ll be using a log of a different
sort make sure the dishes are done…
permanently!
Before the Gravity Death Log can be
marketed as the must-have kitchen
appliance of the future, a few simple
tests must be conducted. Our first test
was designed to demonstrate that the
death log can indeed deal with dishes.
A bowl was placed on a large plate,
and a smaller plate and mug were set
alongside. Andy hoisted the Gravity
Death Log 50 feet (15 m) above the
ceramic test subjects, investing roughly
1000 Joules of potential energy in the
wood. Everyone donned protective
eyewear. A small crowd (two people)
gathered, and the log was log was
dropped....
pulverized, but the death log itself sustained damage and shed some
bark. Only the small plate survived and was given to a passerby.
But just how effective is the Gravity Death Log at destroying dishes?
To find out, 15 plates and bowels were stacked up to see how many
the log could smash at once.
dishes. The lower dishes
were simply shattered,
whereas the upper dishes
were nearly crushed into
powder. To paraphrase
that immortal line from
Don't Tell Mom the
Babysitter's Dead, The
dishes were done!
The effectiveness of
disposing of dirty dishes
using the Gravity Death Log
has been demonstrated. I
can leave it to someone
else to devise a way of
cleaning up ceramic shards.
