future will not be painless. To make
sure the babies of today are
prepared for tomorrow, I present a
Modest Proposal: all babies should
be exposed to death rays at the age
of one. Those who survive will have
proven themselves ready for the
challenges of a harsh world, and
those who do not will have spared
society their useless burden.
used an imitation
infant instead of a
real baby, primarily
because of the
costs and poo
involved when
working with real
babies.
obvious that this baby couldn't handle his
extremely bright future. The flame-retardant
clothing protected the torso, but I think this
baby would have also liked a hood. A
baby's head can remain soft for 18 months;
this baby's head solidified about 90 seconds
after the Solar Death Ray was shut down.
Damage to the skull was centered on the
maxilla and frontal bone, with some notable
damage to the right parietal bone. To this
baby's credit, he didn't cry.